There are many facets to life that many of us don't know about. On my column I give my personal views from real life experiences, sound advice on daily obstacles, and I write out lessons I've learned on my personal journey.
This one will rub some feathers and rightfully so because some things really just need to turnaround in our communities. Statistics are objective and don’t have the logical ability to lie to us. As I probed the internet looking at different sites pertaining to household incomes and childbearing statistics I was amazed at the increasing rates of single motherhood in the U.S. I know sometimes different variables have a substantial effect on certain outcomes but a lot of it can be easily changed with proper wisdom and knowledge from God’s word.1 Corinthians 1:18 says, "The message of the cross is foolish to those who are headed for destruction! But we who are being saved know it is the very power of God."
I recall explicitly about 2 weeks ago I had an encounter in Charlotte with a guy who claimed to have 8 kids by 6 different baby mamas. He was slightly prideful and I derived from his conversation that he had no moral guidelines in place even after all of that. Not demeaning him in any way but is this now the norm for society to have a bunch of kids by different people and not even be married? Why are a lot of people comfortable with having so many babies and not even be married to the partner? By looking around it’s so easy to see how many of us have gotten away and stayed off track from what God originally intending to be the case for our lives. His will is perfect and supersedes any possible notion that we could have had for our lives.
Isaiah 55:8-9 states, “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.
We always say we want change in those around us and for our communities but what about starting with ourselves first? We pass the blame onto others so quickly while overlooking the fixable problems within ourselves. This allows us to become blind to the point where when we finally do see what’s going on, years have passed us by and situations like that guy I mentioned have established themselves. Like I said last week in my newspaper column, let us look in the mirror at ourselves first and start the change in ourselves.
Many of us have been conditioned our whole lives to think and act a certain way because of what we observe going on around us. This leads one to living out the many different lifestyles that we see people lead today. I've encountered people lately who feel as though they are stuck and cannot change how they think or act. They say things like I was born this way so I'm going to just deal with it and try to live my life. They've tried so many different things is this world to change and it only leads back to the same mindset and lifestyle that they were conditioned on. Understand that your adversary is the only one who could convince someone in their mind to believe such a thing.
If the adversary can convince you to be constantly fearful or stuck on a certain way of life then he has already carried out a part of his purpose in created a stronghold in your mind. The way we allow ourselves to think is how we ultimately create our lives. God has given us the power if we accept his son Jesus to create new positive habits and to live a peaceful life with all of his provisions while awaiting our eternal lives in paradise. If we never focus on the positive things in life then we'll always be a negative person. By us only focusing on the negative things you end up losing your hope, faith, joy and ultimately your will to live. Don't allow yourself to be deceived into thinking that there is no way for you to turn everything around. I am a testament of some of these things!
I have been noticing lately that a lot of people just aren’t really that committed and focused on the things they say they've been working towards. A lot of people are just living for the thrill of things and have no real direction or passion for the things in life that matter. We have to really watch out for the trends and lifestyles that we see others on and think that it's some type of game or something popular to follow after. Following others and not being yourself can turn you into someone that you weren't intended to be and leads you down a mediocre path. I've had my own vast experiences in the past that helped me get to this point and I definitely remember coming up in high school with a variety of different football offers with a few of them being power 5 schools. Where I come from it’s all about football so if you have offers from power 5 schools you’re expected to excel and have everybody looking up to you.
Nobody could take my focus away while I was in high school. We had the work ethic then, we had the drive, we had the passion, we had the commitment. It was all about football and making it to the NFL. But the trends and lifestyles of college got in the way because I wasn't as driven and focused as I originally thought I was when I left high school.
A lot of people including myself got distracted easily with the college life so I know from experience how it is when you aren’t truly rooted in what you originally said you wanted to do. I started creating new habits of affirming myself to things that weren't in alignment with my desired career. Too many people today have no work ethic or foundation for what they do. I've seen lately many guys I know back home in SC starting to look like and blend in with any and everybody for whatever reason it may be. The media and newspapers are becoming loaded with people getting sentenced for crimes that don't even make sense as to how something like that could happen. We have to be more intentional about our motivations and decisions in life.
We each encounter different experiences everyday of our lives that are intended to mold us into the person that we were predestined by God to be. In today's generation it seems as though most of us never seem to apply the personal lessons we say we've gained. Many people get back into the same situations and relationships that they once said they would never get back into. We have to be more intentional about understanding the value and worth that we each have as individuals.
I had many times in the past where I would compromise my character and values to fit into certain societal trends or groups. God showed me many lessons over and over until I came to my senses and applied them to the different areas of my life.
It was after the application of the lessons that I was able to climb the ladder and move to different levels of my life. I'm still not at the level that I envision of my life but everything comes at the right time with God. God does the exact same for everyone else except others may not focus on and take God as seriously as I have come to do. Some of us get carried away from our own goals by entertaining things too long that are detrimental to our mindsets. Your goals/career has to be more of a priority than whatever you're being distracted by.
The most important variable when thinking about the reconditioning of your mind is to recognize what the flaws or deviance's are first. Things will start to become slightly clearer once you can actually confess and agree that there is specific change that is needed in your life. I had to cut off things that hindered me and isolate myself before I was able to receive all of the wisdom and knowledge from the Lord that I have now. Once I allowed the Holy Spirit to take control, things begin to change drastically and the Lord gave me a different perception or view on life and the people that get an opportunity to live it. So I know the process vividly! Reconditioning your mindset will take being intentional about putting fresh and new information into it. What I mean is to take control of the things you allow yourself to entertain and be influenced by such as what you watch before bed or indulge in on social media. These simple activities can adversely contaminate your vision on life and or create a perception of things that aren't really good for you. So recognize first that there is a clear change that is needed and then be bold in taking action.
Self control in many aspects of life is something that most of us tend to struggle with but never want anyone to think that we do. The norm of today is to hide the things you struggle with as no one wants to openly look weak and vulnerable to the outside world. We most times struggle with things because of not realizing the power and the effect on our subconscious mind by the things we allow ourselves to be influenced and entertained by. When you can act or do something that you know is not of you or your character then it means there's something sitting in you subconsciously that influences your actions but your conscious mind can't control it. To get steady control of this you would need to be intentional about the things you allow yourself to entertain on the tv, internet, cellphone and also the friends you keep. Your subconscious mind which stores your memory has control over your contemplation's (Your current mindset) and your imaginations (Your future). So whatever you entertain and be influenced by can alter and greatly determine your mindset and future down the road.
In order to maintain something that's essential like your focus and direction, you have to be very intentional with things each and everyday. Procrastination and laziness nowadays is so easy to consistently fall into if what you're seeking is not actually as important to you. So first and foremost make sure that the (positive) goals or aspirations you're pursuing actually mean something deeply to you and have a radical affect upon you as you think on them. If you have no passion or if it's not your purpose to do what you're doing then sooner or later you'll get weary and tire out because what you were doing was for someone else. There will always be a "why" attached to whatever you do and your answer to it should always inspire someone to keep pushing themselves! Never give up and never lose hope with your life or the goals you set because if it's your gift then it'll make room for you to elevate and succeed at it.
Everyone has had their own personal valley experiences whether you were aware enough at the time to realize it or not. Some experiences we go through happen for such a reason that they come upon us suddenly and without warning only for us to ultimately get the lesson out of it if we've gotten to the end without giving up on ourselves. More times than not as tribulations persist on for some of us we start to unknowingly allow the adversary to alter in the worst way our actions and our perspective on the reality of things we see. While pushing through these periods you have to stay true to yourself and allow the reconditioning of your mindset to stay in alignment with keeping positive moral values. No matter what you face their is always a multitude of people going through worser things that are beyond your reasoning. It's important to reflect and meditate daily on your progress so you don't lose focus on the lessons you've acquired and the faith you've grow in. John 16:33 states "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
Too many people have been deceived by the adversary in thinking you will fail in your life's endeavors. Never let what others are doing in their lives and what opportunities may have passed them by cause you to put limits on what you can do. We are never limited as long as we keep Jesus at the forefront of our lives and allow him to guide us. No matter what circumstances you're in or whatever your age may be, always remember that your best days are ahead of you if you're intentional about that being your future. We weren't put here to be failures in life and that's one deception that has captivated this world. Always keep in mind that you are supposed to be thriving in whatever your God given passion or purpose in life looks to be. You cannot fail if you tell yourself that you won't!
A lot of us today cloud our vision and thoughts more and more each day by the things we allow to penetrate our eyes and ears. I have learned many tangible lessons from the past about awareness and the importance of knowing who you are without the impact of outside influences. Over time many of us become blind to simple common sense in certain aspects of our very lives because of what we allow to influence us. Self awareness in today's society I believe is at an all time low hence (types of videos going viral, societies trends, people following the wrong crowds for acceptance, people seeking attention in the wrong ways). It's very important to be aware of your everyday actions and the way you allow yourself to think. Reflecting and evaluating on your past and present journey in life every night will go a long way in understanding who you are and knowing the best steps to take next!
Your actions have to prove that you have been grasping what you've been taught in life and by God's word. Anything less is a sign of regression!
- Nicholas Halmon
I am originally from Bamberg, SC but I currently live in Charlotte, NC. I have had some of the greatest ups and some of the lowest of setbacks. I will write about daily obstacles you will encounter and many helpful thoughts on certain aspects of life and other informative ideas.
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Your worth shouldn't be based off of another persons perception of you! God's love establishes true worth because he is our basis for all things!